There are some things I run across in my day to day life that seem like they ought to be packed full of meaning and a deeper understanding of the world at large. Images that seem surreal when viewed that you are sure are the kind of thing that inspires those creative people to reach new heights of art and understanding of the human condition. A combination of environment and individual interpretation that for a moment pulls back the veil that keeps us from seeing the meaning of everything, as long as you're one of the fortunate few born with the mental decoder ring required for fundamental comprehension. I can't lie however, I just see a porch light full of dead flies. Maybe if it was black and white.

This may not be my typical type of photo, this just sort of struck me as an odd thing to put on the back of a pest control truck. While that may indeed be the motto they try to impart on their technicians it seems an odd statement to press on the public at large. Perhaps that space could've been used for something like "licensed and insured" or "satisfaction guarantied." The fact that it wasn't leads me to believe that the two statements I made can't legally be put on the Toyota because they'd be an outright lie. So assuming they aren't licensed and offer no guarantee, I still think it would serve them better to put a website, pests they "manage" or anything other than turning perfectly good ad space into a roving office style motivational poster.

I am freely admitting up front that this blogg is far more of a irrational rant than an actual explanation of the picture. With that being said this bathroom mirror at a gas station of the Atlantic Coast irked me slightly more than a sliver of bamboo under my thumbnail would. This mirror set up defies all logic. I understand framing it in a wooden housing like this if it was in a rustic themed bathroom and the frame was actually reclaimed barn wood from the 1940’s. This was simply a double thick layer of 1 by 4 held together by twenty nails and 2 screws, I counted, fastened to the wall with a home made bracket. By the way, the nails were to long and jutted out the back and have been clipped off. Judging by the marks it was done with a wire cutter, and because the genius who made this used roofing nails, yes roofing nails, had to have notched the wire cutters in several places. I could understand this if mirrors were a rare find and must be reused and coveted, passed down from generation to generation, but they’re not. A passable picture hanger from home depot cost about 73 cents, and with less than 30 seconds (I timed it) of looking I found a wall mirror for 5 dollars. Bringing total cost to just under six bucks. Which is probably what this eye soar cost, but you know what my plan wouldn’t cost? 20 odd hours of manufacturing time.

It is with disturbing news and heavy heart that I write to you tonight. It appears that my wife has contracted a condition whose symptoms and implications are frightening indeed. She has needed much more sleep lately. She has require many more calories and food in general to satisfy the problem. She has the odd bought of nausea and has a large protrusion in her mid section. This was all very frightening so we sought the aid of medical professionals, and with the fascinating technology of ultrasound we were able to see what was causing all this strife. I have to say the outlook is a grim one. It appears that a parasite is growing within her, stealing nutrients and sapping her energy on a daily basis. As well as causing fundamental changes to her moods, memory, and general decision making. Currently I am not sure what can be done, but I do know that it can't stay in there forever.

Trouble, that is what these 3 little monsters, were, are, and will be. I removed them from an attic early this week after catching their very angry mother. They had wedged themselves into the farthest possible corner right on the edge of the soffit. I managed to grab the big one with my welding glove on, who then proceed to urinate with terrified abandon on everything within blast range. However, his brother and sister managed to roll just out of range. So I had to trudge back through the attic with number 1 in tow and to the truck. I rigged a catch pole that wouldn't hurt the little dudes and made the hot and fiberglass laden trek back to the corner. It worked like a charm on number two, who made such a loud noise the homeowner rushed to the attic hatch to see what I was screaming about, and he too peed in a slow circle as the bungee around his middle settled into its natural alignment. I put him a cage and went for the little sister, who upon feeling the edge of the catch pole reared back on her underdeveloped hind legs which promptly gave out sending her tumbling, with a thunk and a whimper, into the soffit. So back through the attic and to the truck, from the truck to the roof, and with a few pieces removed from the soffit I could see little eyes peeking out at me. I reached in with the glove, and no sooner did my hand contact fur, did a cascade of urine fall from a myriad of tiny holes in the vinyl. After successfully dodging the unexpected and ranging streams of the first two, it was the 3rd who managed to score a few hits on my leg....

I have a good wife, a wife that thinks of me often, a wife that tolerates my little indulgences, and a wife whose patience I tend to constantly test. All of these things came into play when she returned from Disney World around a week ago with this little gem in toe. I love Star Wars, and Fett is one of my favorite characters, personally it would never had occurred to me combine a potato with green armored god, but I think it works. So I loved the gift, I just couldn't think of where to put it. Then this weekend she asked me to rearrange the furniture in the house. This is not one of my favorite things to do, you can ask my father if you don't believe me. However, in this instance it worked in my favor, because somehow the picture that previously made up the middle section of the bookshelf was misplaced and spot just big enough for my latest toy opened up. I think it's a great place for it, nestled betwix our wedding invitation and one of the first pictures of us together. Remember young wife, patience is a virtue.

There is something terrible wrong with a select few in my family. It wouldn't technically be considered a birth defect in the terms more clinical aspect. However, those of us who have to live with the day to day humiliation would say they need to add it. What I am referring to is the Flinstone Feet. Not sure what I mean by that? Take a stroll down memory lane (you tube) and find an old episode of one of Hannah Barbara's greatest hits The Flintones, and take a close look a Fred's feet. Cartoonish right? Huge ham hocks that in no way could resemble real life persons anatomy correct? Well I hate to have to admit it, but that simply isn't the case. My feet, and the feet of a few others in my family are more akin to bricks that a well articulated limb allowing for high level dexterity. "If you cut one of those monsters off I'd bet each would way at least 15 or 20 pounds," this was a sentence that was actually said to my face. Try living that life, a life void of flip flops or sandals, no beaches for me, I got tired of kids asking me what was up with the socks and sand castles. Alas it appears my unborn child is going to suffer the same fate.

I tried to capture this epic display of holiday cheer, but without some sort of panoramic option, I did the next best thing and got video. What a marvalous day and age we live in. It used to be that you would have to go out and purchase hundreds and thousands of tiny incandescent bulbs, a staple gun, and rickety wooden step ladder, to painstakingly and dangerously adorn your domicile with holiday cheer. Not in this modern age, we are living in a bona fide land of tomorrow. Yes sir, you can jet down to your local super center in your mostly electronic car and purchase a pre-lit 6 foot Santa, complete with custom motorcycle, cleverly called "The Red Sleigh-er." Sure that energy bill will triple for the month you have all those awkwardly loud air filled characters gracing your sod, but it sure ticks off the Smiths next door, who have gone with the tasteful white icicle lights, and isn't that what Christmas is all about?