Fido

Since moving to florida I feel like many 80’s sitcoms before me I am developing an all to predictable catch phrase. I typically go to 1 of 2, the first being “what in the world?” or simply a loaded “why…” In this situation the latter. I guess I can understand the business model, some people are far to attach to the family pet dump it in an unmarked shallow grave on the closest piece of municipal property and would prefer to keep the ashes of the beast on the mantle. However, that’s all beside the point. The real issue I have with this infraction of general intelligence is the advertising scheme. This is the sort of thing that should be kept to the receptionist’s desk at a vet’s office, or relegated to the internet where the needy parties can find you. Not to mention the seemingly intentional absence of just what “best friends” are being roasted until the marrow boils out of their bones. Sure context clues let you know what’s going on pretty fast but this genius of industry subscribes to the reach out and grab’em school of advertising. You can’t really make it out in the pic but that little pink paw says “cremation” and I am sure you noticed the vanity plate. If I had to guess I would put money on these animals taking your recently deceased pet, skinning and eating it, and giving you the ashes from the two old lawn mower tires and newspaper they used to make filet’s of your dead pet beck in a Faded Glory shoe box with water stains.

nice.

In a small town there is an office. This office has typical office things. Chairs that appear to be very expensive, art work that appears to be original but are almost assuredly reproductions, the token plaques featuring varies youth soccer teams sponsored by the company, and this. A shadow box with a large string of firecrackers. At most places they try to find a piece to place in the reception area that sets them apart, but few hit the mark. This however, may be the holy grail of office decor. They effectively found a way to keep explosives in the middle of their place of business and receive exactly no complaints. They found a excellent loop hole. If you put it in a shadow box, you can keep just about anything anywhere. White Phosphorus grenade in the break room? No prob, just run out and pic up a baseball display case. Pair of Colt .45's will pearl inlay grips cocked and locked? Completely ok so long as they are framed and hanging above a small table covered in pamphlets describing the companies vision and five year plan.